Christmas in Long Term Care

She sits quietly in her chair staring out her window. Not much to see. Parked cars in the parking lot and beyond that, the road. The house across the street has a dog and if she is lucky, she will have the joy of watching this canine as he chases the squirrels. It is the highlight of her long day in the nursing facility.
She is invited to activities if the facility isn't short of staff and the Aide assigned to her remembers to take her. Oh how she wished she could get in her wheel chair by herself and wheel herself around the facility visiting with other people.
Now it is Christmas Eve and her family will not make it in to visit her until after the holidays. She understands, they have families of their own to visit and spend time with. She had hoped they would come take her home for the day, she wouldn't be any trouble. But not this year. This Christmas she will spend alone in her room like last year. She pretends not to notice when the aides come in her room and rummage through her draws or "borrow" her powder for another resident. Nor does she cause any trouble for the housekeeper that took the china doll from her roommates table.She didn't want any backlash for tatling. These were Christmas gifts from a local church. Not much, but they were special. She simply smiled and looked out the window. Talking to the staff was impossible; they didn't speak her language, (English), and she didn't speak thiers, (Spanish). This made it more lonely. She tried to stop the tears from falling, no one must know how lonely she felt. No one would care. At 86 she knew she had outlived her purpose in life. Who would need or gain anything from such an old lady. Now she let the tears fall, who cares anyway. As the snow began to fall she looked across the street. Perhaps today the neighbor will let the dog out for play time.

Sabbath week two

Well, this past Sabbath was a flop. It started with me getting up too late to attend worship. Then I went into the living room where my husband was watching television. Without a thought I grabbed a cup of coffee and joined him. During the afternoon we took our dog for a walk by the stream. It was a gorgeous day for it. When we arrived home I sat down and began working on my knitting, while my husband put up some halloween decorations. At 5pm our guests arrived. By the time they had left I was tired and found myself irratated with my husband for not thinking of something to do with me besides watch television. Not taking into consideration how tired he must have been after decorating and cooking the dinner for our guests! Instead, I got an attitude and went to my study and read while I pouted.

So how was work today? Not so good. I was tired and aware of how different today felt as opposed to last week when I had listened to God and rested on the Sabbath. I stopped berating myself around lunchtime. As I looked ahead for this week I realized how much I needed the day of rest.

God wasn't just telling me to rest to please Him; he gave it to me to help me out. He knows how busy my life continues to get and by not listening to my Heavenly Fathers wishes to obey the Sabbath I am paying dearly. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. It surprises me how active my life has become when I cannot even relax on one day of the week

What am I going to do with this new knowledge? As I told my husband this morning; no more dinner guests on Sundays. only rest and quality time together. Any work needing to be done will need to get done Saturday. As for not getting up on time; no more excuses. If I choose to stay up until midnight with friends then I will have to pay the consequences. I am no longer a young chicken and staying up past 10pm is hard on my body!

Language barrier in our Long Term Care Facilities

Once again I am made aware of how different life is for our seniors living in nursing homes. On several occasions in one morning, I witnessed residents being ignored by staff who did not speak English. I know this because after witnessing a resident being ignored, I said to the staff member, "he jsut asked you a question." She simply smiled at me and said, "Si". Another area of change in our long term care facilities is the disregard for seniors who are in an activity. At one time it was unexceptable for any noise or disruptions to occur during an activity. As I sat in the room where a bible study is held, the radio was on in the dining area off the room we were in; housekeeping and dietary staff were cleaning off tables making loud noises as the plates were dropped into buckets, they were speaking loudly in spanish to one another, yet not saying a single word to residents sitting and waiting to be taken to their rooms. On several occasions I witnessed staff walking by a resident yelling to be taken to the rest room. Could they not at least address the resident and let them know they were heard? Apparently not. If the charge nurses on the floors cannot supervise their staff; who can? Why are we hiring non-english speaking staff to care for english speaking residents? Why are we willing to hire nurses on visa's who also do not understand family members who call; or who family members can't understand when they call?

The Sabbath

Well, my first observance of the Sabbath went better than expected. My husband, a nonbeliever, went along with it. the Television was never turned on the whole day and evening! That may not sound like a big deal to you, but in our house it is a big deal. I enjoyed spending the day in the Word; praying and studying. I have often wondered what the real meaning of the Sabbath is and have taken it upon myself to read up on it and look at the different passages where it is used in the bible. After all, how can I observe this day if I don't understand the meaning for it in the first place.

Not having the t.v. on began to get difficult towards the evening. I found myself getting anxious for something to do without wanting to do anything. I finally got out my yarn and began working on a baby gift. I learned I could follow knitting directions after all. Could it be that with the t.v. off and the house quiet I was able to concentrate more on what I was reading or doing?

It became apparent how influential the television is in my marriage relationship. During the entire day neither of us thought to ask the other what we could do together this day. We simply picked up books we were reading and read all day. Or in my case, got busy with crafts. I had mentioned that this would be a day for family and time with God. Didn't he get the hint? Apparently not. So next week I will see if I can think of something we can enjoy together.

So, my lesson for our first observance of the Sabbath is this; it is more difficult than I had anticipated it to be, and with this recognition, I am more determined than ever to stick to my plan of observing this day of rest for a full month, no excuses. that being said, is grocery shopping breaking the Sabbath? If so, I failed my first Sunday Sabbath.

Honoring the Sabbath, can I do it?

I have been pondering a lot lately about the Sabbath. I realize we are no longer under the old law. However, I have often wondered what my work week would be like if I took the Sabbath seriously. If I took Sunday as a true day of rest. Rest from shopping, cleaning the house, and other forms of work or play that take my focus off our Lord. I have made the decision to observe the Sabbath every week for a month and journal the results I find. It would be very interesting to see if my job performance and relationships improved. How could they not? I would be rested and have had personal, intimate time with my Heavenly Father.I am ashamed to say the most difficult thing to give up will be the television. I don't realize how much time is spent in front of that noise box. I justify it by working on crafts while I listen. But that too I will give up for the month.
I will also begin again of sharing my experiences as I visit our Elders in Nursing Homes.

A Sad Goodbye to Toebe

In honor of my pet dog, Toebe, I am going to write about what a wonderful pet therapy dog he was. I bought him one Tuesday night from Dumbfriends leaque. The following Wednesday he was going to work with me every day. Some days I believe he was the one getting the therapy. He loved being petted. He was very loyal and I never had to scold or leash him. He brought much laughter and comfort to a lot of the residents at the nursing homes I visited and worked at.
Residents at the Long Term Care facility where we worked loved to spend time with him. One gentleman in particular always tried to train Toebe to do new tricks. He was always telling visitors what a loyal, well behaved dog Toebe was. Another resident had his son bring in a bag of dog bones so he would have them on hand when we came to visit.
There were little things Toebe had to overcome. He was very afraid of other dogs and children. It must have come from living wild on an indian reservation. But within a few short months, he came to treat children and other dogs as if they were his bestfriends.
The elders at the facility would take turns brushing him, going for walks and training him. (Of course he already knew the tricks, but they didn't have to know that).
So why am I sharing this? Because Pet Therapy is a vital part of the residents in nursing homes lives. It gives them a sense of importance to help take care of an animal. It also helps them forget about their troubles for the short times they spend petting or talking to an animal. You see, they knew Toebe was safe to tell their troubles to; he wouldn't laugh, nor would he tell them it isn't important. They knew thier secrets were safe with him.
On a few occasions, Toebe was known to get into the bed with residents who were unable to stay up for long or were terminally ill. He would gently jump up and slowly lie down beside them, and put his head on their chest as if to say, "I know how you feel."
So, if you have a dog that you feel is great with people; please consider visiting one of your area Nursing Homes. All you have to do is call the Activity Director and set up a time to meeet so she can test your dog, we have to be sure the residents are safe of course.
I had to put Toebe down a few days ago and it was a great loss to me and to many who knew and loved him. Even family members and staff would bring treats and gifts for him. I will miss my best friend a great deal. But now I have a new little girl named Madison who I am now training to visit Nursing Homes. I will keep you updated on her progress.

Pet Therapy for Nursing Home Residents

I just put my dog down this weekend. It was so painful. He was a loyal friend and companion. Many staff, residents and family members would tell me how unique Toebe was. He was very gentle mannered and quiet. Never jumped or barked. He seemed to sense when a resident was upset or sick. He would walk up to them in the chair and put his head on their lap and just stay there. Or he would get up on the bed, (when given permission of course) and lay next to a sick resident who was unable to get out of bed.
Oh, I wish you could see the smiles on faces in the nursing homes I worked at. Residents that never spoke to staff or family would suddenly brighten up when I brought Toebe into their rooms. One woman despised people; she would ignor staff or yell at them; sometimes even swing at them when she didn't want to be bothered. But when I would bring Toebe next to her she would reach out and start petting him. And so gently too.
Yes, I miss him terribly; but sometimes loving is letting go. He will be remembered for a long time by staff and myself. Pet therapy is the greatest therapy you can give. The residents will respond to dogs, cats, and even a guinea pig!

I am reminded of a guinea pig I bought for another nursing home. I worked at. When I first brought her around I was nervous. I was afraid the elders would scream thinking she was a rat. But to my amusement and surprise, they took to her like a baby. They loved having something so small that needed them to care for her. We held a vote and the majority ruled to call her Coco. They loved watching her for hours as she played in her cage.
One lady who would never come out of her room, would sneak out at night and feed her. That wasn't so good for the guinea pig, but it brought meaning to this lady's life. Staff witnessed her coming out of her room late at night to talk to Coco.

Yes, pets bring joy and a sense of purpose to some elders in Nurisng Homes. Some now have dogs and cats living in their facility full time. The residents are responsible for meeting the animals daily needs. Of course the staff supervises and keeps an eye on the animal to be sure it is being well cared for.

So, if you have an animal that you believe would be good to visit a Long Term Care facility, simply call and ask for the Activity Director. Then tell her what type of pet you have and she will give you the guidelines. We had a rooster on a leash, a lama, even a pony come visit one of the places I worked at as an Activity Director. We even had a police dog come in and they gave us a demonstration of how the dog works for the department. I will never forget it; they gave me the sleeve and let the dog attack me! The residents talked about that for months!

Disciple a Senior

When we think about following Christ and what the cost is; many of us think about the days when disciples were martyred for their faith. Some may think of those who are in foreign countries being tortured or killed for their belief. The thought of modern day Christians suffering for their faith in the United States is almost unheard of. We just don’t think about it. Why should we? We have the freedom to believe what we believe.

Today the cost is less extreme where punishment is concerned. However, it is no less a cost where giving up self is concerned. How many of us are willing to give up our spare time to reach out to someone in need? We are always too busy. What little time we do have we cherish for ourselves. When we are not working we have to clean our homes; work in the yard or visit family and friends.
We simply do not have spare time to give up in order to reach out to another soul who is lonely.

I am convicted in my innermost being of how selfish and self-centered I have been with my time. There is so little of it that I don’t want to give up what I do have. It doesn’t occur to me to get up an hour earlier. Nor to perhaps stay up an hour later. And what about all the hours I spend in front of the television? Lately, I find myself asking,
“What if Jesus felt the same way about His time?”
Suppose He thought, “I am too tired today to teach or heal anyone.” Yet, his main concern was not for himself but for the lost sheep. He was constantly helping others even when he wanted to be alone. The only way Jesus could get time alone with the Father was if he woke up early in the morning while it was still dark. But he did it. And because he made this effort to be with our heavenly Father, he was able to get through the long, stressful days of healing, teaching and being ridiculed. He did not depend on his own strength, but the strength of God.
Our elderly population needs our love, encouragement and time. Like Jesus, we need to depend on
God’s strength. For those of you who are not comfortable or do not feel you have what it takes; just think of them as you grandparents. Or find out from the Activity Director of a Long Term Care facility who would enjoy cards and letters. Just do something to let Christ’s light shine to those who live in a dark world of loneliness and despair. Give these residents hope in where they will soon be. I can guarantee, if you take the focus off you and on the senior, you will walk away with a sense of joy you can only get from serving God’s loved ones.

Long Term Care isn't what it used to be..

Once again I am reminded of how little is known about the nursing homes today. I was approached this morning and asked where I had worked previous to this position. When I mentioned LTC. immediately the visitor stated, "Oh, that is so depressing how those old people are just left there with no visitors." I was appalled and quickly informed this lady that nursing homes were quite different. Many of the residents placed in nursing homes today have frequent visitors. They are there because their family members have to work outside the home and they want their loved one in a safe place. Or they have gotten dementia and can no longer be cared for properly at home. Other's are placed in LTC because they have no one to care for them; so wouldn't you say that this person deserves to be where she can go to different activities, socialize with other residents, go on field trips and most of all, receive care and love from her caretakers?

I realize there are places that are not the best for our elderly population. However these places are far and few between. The majority of LTC facilities want the best for those in their care. You will never find the perfect place; but I still maintain that being in a nursing home is far better than being home alone day after day with no socialization or activities. Only the t.v. and hopefully a phone call, even if it is from a marketer.

So next time you are approached with negativeness regarding long term care for a loved one, ask the person, "Have you visited one of these facilities?" Chances are they will say no, but are sharing what they "heard" or think. These are the people who make it more painful when someone does have to make the difficult, painful decision to place their loved one in a Long Term Care facility. They need encouragement and assistance; not guilt and horror stories from those who have no idea what they are talking about.

The receptionist greeted me kindly as I entered the Nursing Home. I asked where I could find Betty and Kevin, (not their real names). She looked confused. When I asked where the bible study was being held, her face lit up and she pointed down the hall. On my way down the corridor, I was met with a strange, but familiar odor. One that is rarely noticed in LTC today. Atleast, not the good ones. It was the odor of stale urine; the halls smelt dirty to me. My " not a good place for referrals" intennea went up. I noticed residents who hadn't had their hair combed yet and wondered if they would. After all, it was 10:30am. Had they gone to breakfast like this?

I continued down the corridor. As I approached the nurses desk, several employees were standing around talking. One of them looked at me as if to say, "what do you want?" But she quickly turned back to the other staff. I finally interupted and asked if they knew where I could find Betty and Kevin. Again, No one knew who these two volunteers were.

"They have been coming here for over thirty years and no one knows them?

My tone obviously showing my frustration. I then asked,

"Do you know where the bible study is?"

They pointed me to a small room off the dining area. Needless to say, so far I was unimpressed with this particular facility. We had about ten residents in the room. Other residents were in the dining room just sitting there. More were lined up in the hallways, again just sitting. I hadn't noticed many staff so I assumed they were on break.

During the bible study I noticed the music in the dining area was loud enough that I could hear it over the volunteers reading. After the bible study, Betty showed me the room they used to have. She shared how one Sunday morning she and Kevin walked in as usual, and found their room had been renovated into a meeting room. The Activity Director, nor the Administrator had given these volunteers the respect of letting them know about the upcoming change in the facility. Even the large mural of Christ was wall papered over! For several weeks they did not have a room to meet in.

I bring all this up because, when you bring your loved one to a nursng facility, they will always tell you how the resident comes first. What I am curious to know however, is how taking these elderly resident's, some of whom are hard of hearing, out from a quiet area of the building, and placing them in a room that cannot be closed off. A room that is connected to the main dining area where music is being played, and staff are talking; How is this putting these resident's first?
It is also important for you, as a caretaker or family member, to know activities are what gives your loved one quality of life. It is not the medicine they take, it is not the clothes put on them. It is daily activities that fit their personal needs and interests. These activities give your family member a reason to get up; something to look forward to.
As the bible study began however, I turned my attention to the group of Elders. It was clear to me that more than a few of them were participating in the group. They were enjoying having God's word brought into them. I also noticed how much they remembered and knew about what was being taught. It opened my heart to the real spiritual need of our elder population in the nursing home. And it saddened me to see so few brought to the study, and to see the disrepect shown to the wonderful volunteers who were filling this need.

You can bet I will be back next week and hopefully, the odor isn't a normal occurance, nor the rudeness of the staff.