Long Term Care isn't what it used to be..

Once again I am reminded of how little is known about the nursing homes today. I was approached this morning and asked where I had worked previous to this position. When I mentioned LTC. immediately the visitor stated, "Oh, that is so depressing how those old people are just left there with no visitors." I was appalled and quickly informed this lady that nursing homes were quite different. Many of the residents placed in nursing homes today have frequent visitors. They are there because their family members have to work outside the home and they want their loved one in a safe place. Or they have gotten dementia and can no longer be cared for properly at home. Other's are placed in LTC because they have no one to care for them; so wouldn't you say that this person deserves to be where she can go to different activities, socialize with other residents, go on field trips and most of all, receive care and love from her caretakers?

I realize there are places that are not the best for our elderly population. However these places are far and few between. The majority of LTC facilities want the best for those in their care. You will never find the perfect place; but I still maintain that being in a nursing home is far better than being home alone day after day with no socialization or activities. Only the t.v. and hopefully a phone call, even if it is from a marketer.

So next time you are approached with negativeness regarding long term care for a loved one, ask the person, "Have you visited one of these facilities?" Chances are they will say no, but are sharing what they "heard" or think. These are the people who make it more painful when someone does have to make the difficult, painful decision to place their loved one in a Long Term Care facility. They need encouragement and assistance; not guilt and horror stories from those who have no idea what they are talking about.

The receptionist greeted me kindly as I entered the Nursing Home. I asked where I could find Betty and Kevin, (not their real names). She looked confused. When I asked where the bible study was being held, her face lit up and she pointed down the hall. On my way down the corridor, I was met with a strange, but familiar odor. One that is rarely noticed in LTC today. Atleast, not the good ones. It was the odor of stale urine; the halls smelt dirty to me. My " not a good place for referrals" intennea went up. I noticed residents who hadn't had their hair combed yet and wondered if they would. After all, it was 10:30am. Had they gone to breakfast like this?

I continued down the corridor. As I approached the nurses desk, several employees were standing around talking. One of them looked at me as if to say, "what do you want?" But she quickly turned back to the other staff. I finally interupted and asked if they knew where I could find Betty and Kevin. Again, No one knew who these two volunteers were.

"They have been coming here for over thirty years and no one knows them?

My tone obviously showing my frustration. I then asked,

"Do you know where the bible study is?"

They pointed me to a small room off the dining area. Needless to say, so far I was unimpressed with this particular facility. We had about ten residents in the room. Other residents were in the dining room just sitting there. More were lined up in the hallways, again just sitting. I hadn't noticed many staff so I assumed they were on break.

During the bible study I noticed the music in the dining area was loud enough that I could hear it over the volunteers reading. After the bible study, Betty showed me the room they used to have. She shared how one Sunday morning she and Kevin walked in as usual, and found their room had been renovated into a meeting room. The Activity Director, nor the Administrator had given these volunteers the respect of letting them know about the upcoming change in the facility. Even the large mural of Christ was wall papered over! For several weeks they did not have a room to meet in.

I bring all this up because, when you bring your loved one to a nursng facility, they will always tell you how the resident comes first. What I am curious to know however, is how taking these elderly resident's, some of whom are hard of hearing, out from a quiet area of the building, and placing them in a room that cannot be closed off. A room that is connected to the main dining area where music is being played, and staff are talking; How is this putting these resident's first?
It is also important for you, as a caretaker or family member, to know activities are what gives your loved one quality of life. It is not the medicine they take, it is not the clothes put on them. It is daily activities that fit their personal needs and interests. These activities give your family member a reason to get up; something to look forward to.
As the bible study began however, I turned my attention to the group of Elders. It was clear to me that more than a few of them were participating in the group. They were enjoying having God's word brought into them. I also noticed how much they remembered and knew about what was being taught. It opened my heart to the real spiritual need of our elder population in the nursing home. And it saddened me to see so few brought to the study, and to see the disrepect shown to the wonderful volunteers who were filling this need.

You can bet I will be back next week and hopefully, the odor isn't a normal occurance, nor the rudeness of the staff.

Will someone read the Bible to Me? Please?

What is it like I wonder, to be old and in a nursing home where bible studies are no longer considered all that important. Just an activity to put on the calendar. You spent your last twenty or thirty years reading and studying your bible. It gave you such joy and strength during the difficult times. Like when your daughter was suddenly taken ill with cancer and you watched her slowly die from this illness. Then your husband was taken in a sudden car accident by a drunk driver. It felt so meaningless and your faith wavered for a bit. But there were your church friends to encourage you, pray with you and read passages in God's word to help you cope with the loss and pain.

But here you are; in your eighties, in a nursing home, due to poor health and needing assistance with your daily care. You came in with your beliefs and faith; but slowly, over time, people from your church quit visiting. They found it "too depressing" to be in "those places." With your failing eyesight you are unable to read the bible sitting at your bedside table; or perhaps your family members forgot how important it was to you and never brought it in. After all, you are unable to speak clearly since your stroke so they believe falsely that you don't need your bible.

The days continue to go by and soon you have forgotten your favorite verses. Your mind begins to wander more and in your loneliness. The staff forgets to come get you and assist you to the Christian bible study, not knowing how important that was in your life. Out of desperation and loneliness you accept the visitor from another religion. In a couple weeks she offers to study and read with you. Why not? She is a proper lady and knows the bible well. And she is willing to pray with you! She see's past your wrinkled face and drooping mouth. She only sees a lost soul needing to be saved. You know you are going to heaven. But let her believe what she beleives, at least she is company. And oh how nice it is to have someone sit with you and talk to you about your savior. So what if she doesn't believe in Christ as you do; at least she is willing to sit and pray; read the bible and to talk to you about her belief in Jehovah. I mean really, does it really matter at this stage in your life what you call God? No more loneliness. Once again God is in your heart. Your newfound faith is giving you the strength and encouragement you need in these times of pain and confusion and loneliness.

I am sorry. I am sorry that your church family no longer visits and shares the joys of Christ with you. I am sorry you have no one to come read the bible to you as you are used to reading it; to share your own faith with you. I am sure you understand how busy we all are; with work, family and other important things to get done. But I am most sorry that you have known about the love and forgiveness of Christ and now, when you are so close to meeting with God, you may never have the chance. May our Lord forgive me for being too busy for you. May He show me who you are and lead me to you. I want to read the bible and talk about the love of Christ. That is my passion. And I will be looking forward to meeting you very soon to read it to you!

May we both be blessed in the coming year through Christ as we simply read what God's word says and let Him remind you of what you know.

A day in a Long Term Care Facility

Do you wonder what it would be like for your loved one in a nursing home? What he/she would do or not do? What type of care would he/she be getting? Well, I am going to share what a typical day in a LTC facility may look like.

I believe you have a right to know the truth, both the good and the bad. Otherwise we will never see changes where they are needed; nor will those who judge family members for placing a loved one in one of these facilities stop making it emotionally difficult for what is already a devestating and painful decision to come to. There are wonderful facilities out there and they do a lot of good for both the family members and the residents. Over the next few days I will sharing pieces of what I know and have learned. What to look for and how your expectations of how your loved one should be cared for may be too high or too low. I hope you will find this helpful.

I would welcome your experiences with placing someone you care about in a Long Term Care Facility. Or how you have had difficulty placing a loved one due to financial problems. Let's all stand together to get the assistance our Senior Population deserves!

Here is a thought to ponder on: If we are willing to put out government and state money to give illegal immigrants medical assistance, then we better be even more willing to give our senior citizens the care they deserve. After all, they have paid taxes to our government and state where these illegal immigrants have not. Until we are willing to stand up and say enough we will have no right to complain about the lack of care in Long Term Care. But that is for another posting.

Volunteering just a few minutes can touch an elder's life significantly

I walked onto the floor where residents were gathered together watching television. Over by a round table were three residents sitting and getting their nails polished by the charge nurse and an aide. When I remarked to the elder how pretty her nails looked, she glanced up at me with beaming eyes and said, "aren't they though? I have been waiting a long time for this."
Imagine. What we take for granted, like getting our nails done, can bring such happiness to a senior's life in a Long Term Care Facility. This is what you can do as a volunteer in a Nursing Home.
Or perhaps you enjoy reading. A majority of elders can no longer read thier bibles or favorite books and would love to have the company of someone reading to them. Several nursing homes will allow you to take a resident out for tea or ice-cream. Or to see Christmas programs at your church or school.
Spending just 30 minutes or longer with an Elder in a nursing home can make the difference between loneliness and purpose in someones life. It can help heal someone from the most common illness in LTC, depresssion. And when you spend time bringing love and purpose to an old person, you too, will walk away feeling an inner joy that is not easy to explain unless you personally experience it. Please, don't be too busy to spend a short time bringing self-respect and love back into someones soul.

Language Barriers now in our Nursing Homes

It concerns me to come to work day after day and witness staff speaking thier language in front of our english speaking residents. These residents deserve respect and not talking to them in english is a sign of disrespect. It saddens me to watch staff look at our elderly population as "a job." Gone are the days when staff members would use "down time" to converse with the residents; do special things for them. Now as I walk through the halls I see caretakers sitting around watching the t.v. or talking with one another. I will continue to share my opinion on how we need to improve our elderly populations quality of life in and out of Long Term Care facilities; as well as the good that LTC gives. I will share my knowledge and experience as a caretaker, activity director and administrative assistant in Long Term Care for the past 30 something years. I welcome your personal experiences and questions as well. I hope you who read this blog will join me in caring for our Elderly population; after all, if you don't die first, you too will be an elder!